What would Walt Disney do if he were alive today? Gurgle and choke inside his cryogenic vault as liquid nitrogen flooded into his lungs.

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How do you make a kids parents mad? Fly an SR71-BLACKBIRD into him.

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A man walks to his coathanger and shouts: "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!" his wife says not to because the Rapist 'Eggman' was out again. He says he will be careful. On his way to the store, he hears "They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggen-" but the man shouts "AND I'M THE WALRUS, SO SHUT UP AND GET OUTTA MY FACE OR I'LL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" Rapist and the singer became friends and found two more from Liverpool who were excellent musicians. They formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band's breakup.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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A man was shot. He died.

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Yo Mama just died.

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops