Why did the accident happen? The breaks on the car stopped working. Why did the breaks stop working? The driver was drunk.

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What do a porkchop and a watermelon have in common? They're both edible, organic, and delicious. Also, both are fun to throw at people.

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How do you stop a bus from hitting you?? You throw small children to impede the progress of the bus.

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Whats fleash color fleash color and fleashcolor? a naked hobo rolling down a hill

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1 woman and 2 guys were on a roadtrip. Every single day they would go do the same things. First go to Denny's, then to the mall, then see a horror movie. One day the woman said, "I don't want to go see the horror movie, I'm scared enough!" So the guys agreed that they'd trick the woman into going to a horror movie before Denny's. They went, and the woman was scared out of her mind. She yelled at them both for 30 minutes and to this day never speaks to them.

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What do you call a orphan with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean? Scrood

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I asked her where you were.

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What does? 42

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This person shaved their head to gain attention. A klansman.

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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knock knock whos there? dave dave who ? dave starts to cry because his grandmothers oldtimers has restricted her from remembering her grandson dave.

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Why was the black man fired from the bakery? He didn't work hard and was repeatedly absent

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Once there was a giant Pringle. His family was dead, his wife committed suicide. So one day he was walking to work, when he met a genie! The genie granted him three wishes. The Pringle's first wish was to have lots of money. His second wish was to have his wife back. Before he could complete his wishing, he awoke in a hospital where he was hooked up to life support and was in severe pain. His wife wasn't really dead, but he was out drinking and accidentally walked across a motorway and got hit by a huge lorry.

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whats the difference between a grape and an elephant? the grape is purple

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why is 6 scared of 7? because 7 eight 9

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What's sad about a guy jumping off a cliff? The cliff.

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What do you call a jew without a nose? A most likely kind and interesting anti- steriotypical person

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a guy walks into a bar. he buys several drinks, ends up drunk, and crashes into a coffee shop with a goat in the backseat.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... Why couldn't sally get up? She had no legs Why did no one help sally? Because she has no friends.

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What did David's mom give him for his birthday? Nothing he hasn't seen her in eight years.

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Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops