Don't count your eggs before you put them in a basket.

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Hey Patrick what am i ? Ebola No im Texas! What's the difference?

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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why did the clown cross the road? to kill everyone in the dark knight midnight premiere

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I'm Ryan Dunn, and this is a 120mph car crash

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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Why was the black man crying? Becasue his wife and children were killed in a horrific car accident on their way home from church.

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Why did piglet look down the toilet for pooh? He had a horrible mental illness

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Why did the kid need glasses? A monkey threw a fridge at him.

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Your mom is so stupid, she didn't know the answer to 2+5

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Why did Johnny throw the clock out the window? His parents are never around to supervise him.

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Yo Mama just died.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Open up.

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A man was shot. He died.

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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There's this traveling merchant from Flint, MI. He goes door to door trying to sell shampoo. He is having a lot of trouble selling shampoo in Flint because they were hit hard during the recession and now ahve trouble affording even the most seemingly cheap products.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What's the difference between you and a bucket of shit? The bucket and the shit. You're a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops