Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

Q what r u eating under there? Aunderwear ewww thats nasty

Whats the difference between a house and a mouse If you think about it , quite a lot really

A brunette, a blond and a red-head decide to go swimming in a lake. To prepare, they go shopping together to get some new bikinis. When they get to the shop they are pleased to find that the bikinis are on sale and they get them 50% off. They drive with their new swimwear to the lake and get changed in the changing room. When they get out they notice that it is quite cold. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice that the lake is dirty. They decide to go swimming anyway. They notice the lake is actually a spill of oil. They decide to go swimming anyway. They remember that none of them can swim. They decide to go swimming anyway. They jump in. They drown.

What's more epic than a man in a gorilla suit? A man i a gorilla suit with a banana.

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

What do you get if you cross a fairy cake with some boiled parsnips? Fladgemuffin

Knock knock. Who's there? Insurance. Insurance who? I'm sorry, sir; we can't fix your liver because you don't have any insurance.

what's 6 inches long and women love? my penis

I stepped into the bathroom and began to take a shower. Then, I panicked. I was so thirsty, and I did not take the advantage to drink some water before I stepped into the bathroom. But then I realized: "Wow, I am so silly. I am standing under the shower, so I could easily just expedite my washing and drying, exit the bathroom, get dressed, and grab something to drink from the kitchen!" Then I showered quickly and got something to drink.

A black man, an asian man, and a gay man walk into a bar. What do they do? They mourn the loss of their dead friend.

In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

Why was the black person sent to the back of the bus? All of the front and middle seats were taken.

What did god say when a black person was born? Damn I burnt one

Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT NOVA! MY NAME IS VIKTOR REZNOV! AND I WILL HAVE MY REVENGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

Knock, Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting c- Moo

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

Why did the suicidal terrorist swim with fish? He heard the SEALS we coming for him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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