Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because i shot him. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? he was in front of the monkey

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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How did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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S + B + B = SB fuckin' B

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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What did the baby do when it crossed the rode? It didn't get across it got hit by a car.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get into the Batmobile.

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? Rape.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops