The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There was this land of cheerios. The regular cheerios were the poor ones, the honey nut cheerios were middle class but loved to party, and the frosted cheerios were very wealthy. So there was a young regular cheerio named paul who really had a crush on this frosted cheerio girl named sophia. He liked her so much, that he finally got the courage to ask her out. Shyly he asked her "do you want to go to prom with me" she said "no i only date frosted cheerios". Paul understood and went back to his house dissapointed. The next day Paul went to the doctor and he asked for an operation to make him a frosted cheerio. Since he wasn't very wealthy he could only afford an opperation that would make him a half cheerio. He decided it will do. The next day he approched sophia and asked "will you go to prom with me now" she said "sorry i only date full frosted cheerios" The next day paul went back to the doctor and convinced his parents to lend him some money to become a full frosted, so thats what he did. The next day he asked her out and she finnally said yes. A few days later they went to the prom together that was hosted by the honey nut cheerios. Sophia asked paul for some brownies so paul said sure and waited on the brownie line for quite a long time. He brought her the brownie and thought he was very nice for waiting on line for so long. Then she asked for some fruit punch. Paul looked around and around, until he realized there was no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call it one an Arab and a Jew get married? Love.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Try this on some random person on the street... You: "Excuse me sir, do you know how to get to Farnsworth Street?" Man: "Sorry, no" You: "OK, you go straight ahead, then turn left on the second street. Continue about 200 feet, then......"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q:How many dead babies fit in a bathtub? A:It depends on the bathtub, but if all of them were the same size, babies also differ in size and sometimes shape. If all bathtubs and babies are the same, the number would be 1, because every baby will be as big as the bathtub.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a women with 2 black eyes? Hopefully nothing because abuse is something that shouldn't be messed with and it is wrong.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If life gives you lemons, you're setting up a bad joke

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's more annoying than dyslexic jokes? Jokes were peopel spel words rong.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a pool full of black people? a pool full of black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the man cross the road? Because he was applying for a job that's building was located on the other side of the street.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the chicken say to the other chicken? nothing, they dont talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did Suzie fall of the swing? Because Suzie was a cucumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the blonde tattoo her zip code on her stomach? She wanted a tattoo.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did Thomas Jefferson's children call him? Grandpa

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Once there was this duck. he was the best dentist in the world...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops