Why didn't Joe want to stand up? Because he had no legs!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what is the difference between hitler and the jews? They had different religions

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did marybeth fall off the swing i shot her in the fart box and she died

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you call a black person who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Anakin tell Luke he was his father? Because honest people never lie

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the dubstep say? Wub.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the jew spend his paycheck? He wanted to save money for the future

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Stevie Wonder valentine: Roses are black, Violets are black, everything is black, I cant see shit!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the hobo as the other hobo? do u have any cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why was the albino black crying? because all babies cry you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He was perfectly happy where he was.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

why did logan cross the road? to get raped by his father again

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q:how do you save a black guy from drowning A: you shoot him

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did a kid throw a clock out the window? Because he was adopted

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't the Asian man satisfy a woman? He was in a coma.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

When life gives you lemons, you must also have a proportionally sufficient amount of both water and sugar in order to make lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops