What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? I don't know, dinosaurs have been extinct for 200 million years.

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Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

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Yo momma's so fat she went to Antartica and all the penguins were like, "Woah. You're fat."

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why did the black guy cross the street? to get to the package store.

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Why was the cat in the bag? Because it's owner was abusive and put it in there.

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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Whats worse than going to jail for the rest of your life? Going to jail naked for the rest of your life.

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I make it rain on them hoes, By which I mean I masterbate from my third story patio

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

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Your mother is so stupid that she had to study, a lot.

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Why was the cancer patient often bullied by his peers? Because he happened to be an extremely bad person. He often annoyed people, was intransigent and often aggravated those around him causing them to bully him.

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Why did the Jew lock the chest? Because that's where he was hiding the body.

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what did the man say after he fell off the cliff nothing, he's dead

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Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

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How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

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What did the black man say to the white man? Hey, I like your shirt.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Jo Brand no longer looks like a ball sack draped over a football.

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What did the fat man say to the Spaniard? Nothing. The Spaniard was skinny and so the fat man was jealous and shot him in the face.

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two men are in a bathroom (note they are not in the same stall) the guy on the left says how are you and the guy on the right says hold on im pooping.

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Q. How do you drowned a blond A. Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool

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Whats black, and chrispy inside...? A black guy with bonecancer

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Be careful not to say Betelgeuse 3 times, because if you say Betelgeuse 3 times, then Betellllwoow that was close.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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