knock knock Dave's not here.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's red and can sing? Elmo

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the long term smoker suddenly stop smoking? Because he had a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the giraffe fall over? Because I shot it with a bowling ball cannon,

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A boy kills DEER & cooks it & doesn't tell friends what it is. He gives a clue "Its what my girlfriend calls Me!..

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Roses are grey, Violets are grey, Everything's grey, I'm a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why does the rabbit go in the hole? because that's where it lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Just aids, and gonnoreah, and... Jk, I wont type it here, and I am not "suffering" from nothing, its a condition, it can be a struggle, and yeah it could turn fatal, on the bright side its not contagious (its genetics, flawed genetics) but on the bright side, so far chances are greater of me dying from a giant meteor falling on me as I sleep, than from this... Not disease, genetic flaw, take it from a guy that was born without toenails, has two eardrums and some weird tiny holes on his ears (I can send you a pic of those tiny weird holes, they are not weird, kinda cute I been told and can say so myself) so you calm yet?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: How do you make a plumber sad A: you kill his family lolololololololololol

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Whats the difference between the Taliban and a Football Team? I'm not on the football team.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why does the man appear fat he is

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar and breaks his nose, he asks the bartender for help The bartender says "no you're a f***ing idiot"

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Charlie Sheen

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Its linked with the process of extracting uranium isotopes, but lets change the subject, with that said, I hope you can help me with some management advice such as the one you gave me, I will of course pay you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

An Asian walks into a bar. He has a few drinks, but makes sure not to have to many. He then drives home safely, and enjoys a good nights rest.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

thumb_up thumb_down +16

the WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

jacob mckeand broke his arm and now he cant wank :(:(:(

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? That is not nearly as important as how to cure cancer so let's not worry about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If a tree falls on a deaf person, does anyone care?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops