How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

what do you call cheese thats not yours? A: stolen cheese.

I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

What do you call an Asian guy doing homework? A student

What is the difference between a dead baby and a bowling ball? You can't pick up a bowling ball with a pitchfork.

Good job, son.

When Hitler was a girl she had hyjenical warts and when she got older she had beast cancer.

what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

2 moose sitting in a tree, suddenly there came a boat and landed in the tree next to them, then said one of the moose, he probably lives there

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

How many members of Coldplay can you fit in a mini? 4, as there are 4 members of Coldplay.

So i can type anything in this box and it shows up on the website?

A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

what did the penguin use as a napkin? a napkin

Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

NeroChan, I have said nothing to you, that you have not taught me, if nothing else you have indirectly inspired yourself, you will get back on your feet, you just need to take one step at the time, I know how ambitious you are, but you always focused on helping others, hiding, seeing yourself as a sinking ship, trying to help as many as possible before you pass away. We can work trough this together, it is easy to figure out that you are trying to protect others from what you feel that you have become, something that cannot be repaired, something that was never meant to be fixed, but to be used until it had no more to give.

Wats blue and always in the sky?? Cheese! Except cheese is not blue and it is not always in the sky... By Rachael Mcmullan

Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

why is lady gaga so famous? because she has a penis.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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