A man is walking on the beach and notices a shiny brass lamp on the ground. He picks it up, polishes it and then sells it for a reasonable amount of money at a local pawnbroker.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do you call a horse with two legs? A kangaroo

thumb_up thumb_down

What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a larger worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti - Jokes. com

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the girl ask for food? because she was hungry and hadnt eaten in days.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the chicken cross the road? He saw his family getting murdered and tried to stop it but got hit in the process

thumb_up thumb_down

A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? Because it thought it was a squirrel.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are grey Violets are grey Colorblindness isn't funny And neither are you

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was Timmy sad? because he had a frog stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down

what did the apple say to the orange, nothing fruits can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock! Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between an apple and a chicken? Many, many things

thumb_up thumb_down

Whats the difference between a bench and a black man? A bench is an inanimate object incapable of speech, emotion, or thought process.

thumb_up thumb_down

Jim: Kevin, how old are you? Kevin cries because they are twins. His Brother was hit in the head with a bat yesterday and does not remember anything.

thumb_up thumb_down

there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

thumb_up thumb_down

why did the man get arrested? because he was a thief, and thieving is completely unacceptable in a civilised society

thumb_up thumb_down

It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta sex god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the pedophile say to the delightfully curly-headed youth? Can I have fries with that?

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock Knock Who's there? A Crazy Rhinoceros

thumb_up thumb_down

Want to hear an anti-joke? Yes. Well I'm not going to tell you one.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Haiku doesn't rhyme, And neither does this

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops