KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

SHUT UP JP

My wife came up to me and said, "I want you to make me scream with 2 fingers!" So I poked her in the eyes!

What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? Dead.

Why did the tomato blush? It didn't, tomatoes are naturally red by colour.

How do you get to pigs in a pen? Move them.

Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

What do a purple cow and a red fire engine have in common? Both like eating pizza on Fridays, except for the red fire engine.

Why was the man so fat? Because he is in a wheel chair and can't exercise.

Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

What is the last thing to go through a flies head before it hits a windshield. Nothing because flies aren't capable if rational thought.

Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

why was the Jewish person accused of stealing money? because the police found his finger prints.

Two fish are swimming and hit a concrete wall...dam

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

What do you call a fat, ugly kid? An unloved child.

A rabbi and a priest walk into a supermarket... They buy food, put in their cars, drive home and cook dinner.

What did Larry do when little Billys baseball crashed through his window? He raped and murdered little Billy for Larry has raped and murdered many children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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