Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because chad makes babies cry.

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Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry he used lube.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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What's worse than homework? A basket full of mutilated puppies....

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Roses are red Violets are blue Not all poems rhyme Penis

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A Priest a Rabbi and a duck walk into a bar. The rest of the patrons continue to drink until the situation seems less strange.

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what did the woman say? 'duhhh, i don't have a penis durr durr' (By the way, I'm trying to be not misogynistic, please let me know if you find this misogynistic in any way)

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben, you just called me. Aren't we supposed to go jogging. Oh yea, I lost track of time. Is it cold out? Yea it is. You should bring a jacket. Alright, can you get me a water? Yea, no problem. Thankyou.

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Why did the teenager take a shower? Because she was brutally raped by a serial rapist and felt dirty. Unfortunately for her, she was unaware that she was washing off the prints from her body and the rapist was never found

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How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

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Carlos was attempting to write anti-jokes. He sucks at writing anti-jokes.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Holy shit! I can talk too!"

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Why did the black man go to Jail? He was visiting his friend!

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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What's worse than having cancer? Two people having cancer

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I LOVE MASTURBAITING ALL DAY!!!!

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Why does Apple hate Blackberry? They don't fruit can be rivals.

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What's the difference between a educated black man & a educated white man? One's black, One's white

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What's worse than a piece of food stuck between your teeth? I don't know, what? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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A man walks into a bar he said oww when did this metel bar get here

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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