What's the best part about having sex with twenty four year olds? There's twenty of them.

What did one lawyer say to the other? We are both lawyers. What did the stupid lawyer say to the other lawyer? We are both pineapples.

How does a cancer patient bathe? He can't because he lives in an arid climate where water is scarce.

A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

Chuck Norris will die sometime in the future.

What do you call a dog with two tails? ...Depends on what its name is.

I wife my butt after I poop. I poop out of my penis.

what's black and can't swim?

What did the asian boy's parents say when he came home with a report full of b-pluses? "You did well, but try harder next time."

Women are only good for two things... Being raped and being raped in the ass.

what do you when a black guy gives you a muffin. you eat it because he was your waiter.

ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

The past the present and the future walk into a bar it made no logical sense that three things that will always contradict each other exist with each other and can walk into a bar without limbs or being alive it wasn't tense it was tree

What does a black guy get for Christmas? your bike.

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

What's worse than finding out that your dog has worms? Finding out that you have worms.

hey hey apple

What's red and can't find a family? A fire hydrant

How do you kill a blonde? Drench her in fluoroantimonic acid and watch her explode in a violent and gruesome death.

ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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