Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I'd like a gin... and tonic." The bartender says "AAAAHHH! A BEAR!!!" and calls animal control. Later after the beast has been tranquilized and carted away, he rationalizes having heard the bear speak as trauma-induced hallucination.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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When were in a zombie apocalypse I will make sure to save you for 40 days and then I will sacrifice you

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roses are red violets are blue i have Alzheimer whats a rose?

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

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What is orange and smells like oranges? Oranges.

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What's a Gigawat? I made it up.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Roses are red, Violets are glorious, Don't try to surprise Oscar Pistorius!

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Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

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Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

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Ehh

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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A tortoise went for a run. It took him two hours to get around the corner.

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Steve asks Dave if he likes fish sticks. Dave says yes. Steve asks Dave if he likes to put fish sticks in his mouth. Dave says yes again. They both agree to buy some, prepare them, and eat them, as fish stick are tasty, convenient, and mildly nutritious.

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roses are red violents are blue your dad is gay soon it all be you !

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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What do you get when you stab a baby? A dead baby.

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What has red dots and is yellow all over A poisonous frog

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Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

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What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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