What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

I love pissing people off :P

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

a guy went to a bar and ordered a molotov cocktail. he died.

What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

Your momma is so fat that she is a plus size model and gets paid very well for modeling. Good for her.

Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

Whats scary about the asian man driving a car? He was blind

"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

12 in general

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

What's worse than finding out your friend is gay? Being gang-raped.

What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. What do you call a deer with no eyes? No Idear. What do you call a deer with no legs or no eyes? Still no idear.

What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

What do you call a puppy with all it's legs missing? Franklin, the quadraplegic puppy.

Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

why did the man slip on the knife? he wanted to commit suicide

Johnny has 32 cookies. He eats 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes, Johnny has diabetes.

Why the african children was sad? - Because an octopus bite his arm

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

Why is Dave's baby dead? Because his wife threw it into the path a Big-rig.

Why was the boy afraid? Because he had just seen his dog get ran over by a tractor

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...