Bacon makes everything delicious, yes? And coffee makes everything exciting, yes? Put the two together and you get a caffeinated porky roller coaster in your mouth.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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wanna hear a joke? womans rights

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's Cheese on toast

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- Why does a kid from Chernobyl have two heads? - Because of the effects of the nuclear disaster that occurred there in 1986.

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Why did the man cross the road? Because the light was red!

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I was hungrey then i saw a man puke. Im still very hungrey. Then i threw up. Im not so hungrey

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Why did the really unfunny man buy AntiJoke The Book??? It was a good deal and only $9.99.

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What's a vampire's favorite dessert? Vampire's don't exist What's Helen Keller's favorite dessert? Helen Keller doesn't exist

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Why did the black guy have a bunch of marihuana? He was the owner of a shop that sold it for medical purposes.

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What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

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A Jew was walking home one night when two thugs leapt out of the darkness and demanded his money and other possessions at gunpoint. A reflection of how dangerous our streets can be at night.

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Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

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What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: No one knows because a chicken is incapable of communicating it's reason to humans.

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What is green and red and flies 100 miles an hour? Super Frog.

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Want to hear a clean joke? Soap.

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Why did the black man drop his weed Because he got shot

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Good friends are like snowflakes. They disappear when you pee on them.

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Who has big muscles and is good at wrestling? A wrestler

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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What did the man on the moon say? ...Im on the moon.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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