Death by kayak

What's black, white, and can't turn around in a phone booth? A nun with a javelin through her chest.

Q. What's pink and fluffy A. Pink fluff Q. What's blue and fluffy A. Blue fluff

why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Yo mammas so fat she wears big clothes!

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad at making jokes And your a jew

What's the difference between a Pimple and a Priest? One waits till you're 13 to "cum" on your face.

Why did you mom shop at Wal-Mart? She had a coupon

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

What do you do if some idiot throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back.

What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

What do you call a Puerto Rican, a Blonde, and an African woman in a taxi cab? Three people who happen to be traveling to the same location at the same point in time.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's a free drink, you'll wake up in my basement.

A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

A woman takes a shortcut through a dark alley. She is raped, robbed, and murdered. Her family mourns her death.

What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

Why did Gary have severe learning difficulties? Because his mother drank a lot of alcohol while she was pregnant, and it harmed his development significantly.

Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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