What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Three midgets walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer, the second one orders whiskey, and the third one ordered water because all three of them had agreed that he would be the designated driver that night.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mother. Please open the door. Your mother who? You were adopted.

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Why did the booger throw a fit? Because it was getting picked on.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. You think they should have ducked?

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There once was a man named bulagala moo moo boom chicka boom. Sometimes, when wipe the toilet tissue breaks and my fingers get all dirty. Good thing I have insurance!

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Why was Martin Luther King shot? The shooter strongly disagreed with his viewpoints.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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What's brown and smells of chocolate? Chocolate or something dipped in chocolate but that might also smell of something else - like bananas.

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Why was Hellen Keller blind and deaf? Because she was a girl.

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What do you call a straight A student that takes 6 Vicodin's, 5 Percocet's, and 7 Adderalls? I don't know, but he will most likely die of drug overdose.

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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what did michael jackson do when i swore at him? nothing he's dead

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Albert <3 Hunter

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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What's worse than being eaten by a giant bear? Hitler.

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What did the widow get for mother's day? A miscarriage

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side

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Two penguins in a bath tub, one says "Pass me the soap" and the other one says "What do you think I am, a radio!"

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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So, I was walking down the street. As i walked past a oak door an entrance to a mental institution, I heard a bored voice going, "eleven, eleven, eleven". My curiosity, like a cat, got better of me and I decided to take a peek through the key hole and see the eleven things being counted. As soon as I had my eye on the key hole, I was poked in the eye by a metal rod. Startled, I feel back to the street. And, sure enough, heard the same bored voice, going, "twelve, twelve, twelve".

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What do you call a horse that likes to box? A horse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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