How are elephants and plumbs the same? A: They are both purple, except for the elephant.

A woman walked into a bar. Many men laughed at this unthinkable notion because women belong in the kitchen.

Knock knock. Who's there? Big Brother. Big Brother who? That's right. ALL are who, Akbar!

What did the man say to the cat. ~It doesn't matter it impossible for 2 Species to Communicate between one another.

Micheal jackson had half a pie, Fred had the other half of the pie, They both shared a pie.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

there were two cyclists cycling at a steady pace down a main road in china, one irish and the other chinese. now they happened to be cycling at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace. why did the irish cyclist get pulled over and the chinese not? because the irish cyclist had in fact brutally raped and murdered a young child in his home town and then fled the country to china.

Why was the man arrested? He assaulted and raped an elderly woman at the local Walmart. He then proceeded to hijack the poor woman's Scooter and lead police on a 4 mile long car chase.

What did the man with a colostomy bag say after his home was destroyed in a fire? At least all my shit’s in one place.

so your paddling up stream in a cement canoe, one wheel falls off. how many pancakes does it take to shingle a dog house? 46 cause bears dont like eggs.

whats the difference between boyscouts and a jew? boyscouts come back from camp.

Q: How many chicken nuggets can fit into an olympic size swimming pool? A: 8,563,690,152... Corndogs

Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

My girlfriend told me "Give me twelve inches and make it hurt" I ejaculated prematurely and fell asleep.

What will ur wife say when she finds you in bed with a hore-s.

knock knock whos there? i dont know arent you supposed to get the door?

How do you get a one-armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

What do you call a bunch black people falling off a cliff? A mudslide! What do you call a bunch of white people falling off a cliff? An avalanch!

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I hate you so suck on poo.

Fuck off, seriously, if your name is Tifa, my name is bah, I got better things to do.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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