Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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Why couldn't Gladice get out of bed? Because she was dead!

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What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

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What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but the real question is why there are two flies having sex inside a light bulb.

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What do you call a black man in a suit and tie? Presumably affluent

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How do you make etheopians rave ? glue bread to the roof

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Why was the clown sad? Because he was found guilty of raping and murdering 33 young men, and sentenced to death for 12 of those murders by a jury of his piers.

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What is small, slimy, and thrown in the garbage? A stillborn

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, although depending on how high the light in question is and where it's located she may need someone to help hold a ladder for her, if it's particularly unsteady.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? Dance Dance Revolution

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Your mom is soo black , she can go naked to a funeral.

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A Jew, a Christian, and a Muslim walk into a bar and have a friendly argument over their religious beliefs.

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A girl asks her best friends: Why are you only wearing one earring? The best friends replies: Because I took the other one out.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

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Women's Rights

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How do you get a blonde to tell time? By asking her what time is it.

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Knock Know! Come in!

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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a farmer asked me "were is my pig?" and I said ' I got hungry" :()

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A German and an American walk into a bar. George W. Bush got hurt, but Albert Einstein didn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops