So a guy with alsimers walks into a bar........I forget the rest.

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Why did the girl eat a cookie? Because cookies are good.

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Texter 1: Hey, do you want to hang out? Texter 2: Sorry dude, i lost my phone, i'm trying to find it Texter 1: Ok, text me when you find it Texter 2: OK

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Yo mama so fat when she goes to the gym, she makes her trainer skinnier.

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What did Superman say to Batman when they first met? Nothing. They are not real.

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How many Anne Franks does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, cause she's dead.

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Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

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Who wants water? I do.

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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What did the little boy say to his cat? Masturbate on my moms corpse.

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How many dead rats can you put in your ex-girlfriend's bed? 437.

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Whats big and blue and white and if it falls from a tree its sure to kill you. A fridge with a denim jacket on.

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Q: What did the boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: He died on Christmas Day, before his parents could tell him they had maxed out their credit cards to take him to Disney World. His father has since relapsed into alcoholism. He knows his wife is cheating on him with another man, but understands that she needs comfort that he cannot give her.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dumpster full of dead babies What's worse than that? One is still alive at the bottom What's worse than that? It had to eat its way out. What's worse than that? It came back for seconds

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What do you get when you add two boys and two girls in a basement? Four people fearing their lives during a tornado.

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A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream...?? Because he got hit by a white van

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What do you call a fat guy running on the street? Nothing because you should respect his effort trying to improve his health.

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Why did the water in the lake disappear? There was a toilet at the bottom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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