What's green and red? A frog in a blender

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What do you call an African man with no legs? Murderer

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Two muffins are in the oven They didn't say anything.

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What had 82 eyes, 7 mouths, and sings the blues? Nothing, the described creature does not exist.

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What's white and looks like paper? Paper

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What do the Africans have for breakfast? Nothing.

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What's facial hair? Hair that slowly progresses to grow out of certain areas on your face.

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If I said you had a beautiful body would you stop asking me if those jeans make you look fat?

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Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's wife? Neither has he.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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Your mom is soo fat that when God said "let there be light" he had to ask her to move

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Why does fowlerville suck cause everyone wishes they were black

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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what did the guy think who woke up with his hands and feet nailed to a barn. IS THIS BECAUSE IM BLACK!

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A Rabi, a priest, and a monk all go to different churches because they all have different beliefs an respect each others decisions.

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and act like it's original because I changed one word*

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a black guy a white guy and a spanish guy walk into a bar, after they left the bar they became good friends despite thier differences.

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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Roses are red violets are purple what the hell happened to your ugly face

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why did the chicken cross the road? it accidentally got out of it's pen. the farmer got very mad at the chicken for getting out, and very vicous-like, yelled at the chicken, causing it to get scared, and run to the other side. and that, is why the chicken crossed the road.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops