Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's

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Knock knock! Who's there? A doorbell-salesman

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don't do anything i wouldn't do first

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A man dressed as a woman gets hit in the nuts they fall to the ground in pain

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the black man take the watermelon? Because he bought it, and watermelons are delicious.

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FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Sex with helen keller.

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What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards? A woman who learns her place.

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What's the best way to anger a Muslim? Key his car in front of him.

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Why is purple the best color. Cuz icecream has no bones

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Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

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So three black men walk into a bank, one of them uses the ATM, they all proceed to the exit after he is done.

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salad days!

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Why the kid fall of his bike? He got hit by a fridge.

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all entered their designated classrooms to begin AP testing. They all worked extraordinarily hard to earn a passing grade and receive college credit. The brunette and the redhead received passing, yet average, grades. The blond also received a score that reflected the amount of effort she put into studying and memorizing the material, because there is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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Why was the black man kicked out of the restaurant? Blatant racism was still very prevalent at that time and place.

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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No, but I am not just an author, the important thing is, that this kid has been stopped as we speak, as I said he was selling information to several clients on the deep web, and patterns do reveal that he was selling you out piece by piece while prepared to make a run for it once he delivered the vital details. Say, did you promote this guy a bit too fast or something? Either he knows as much as you do, or otherwise he has been learning the ins and outs of your little place pretty fast.

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Does Geico really save you 15% or more on car insurance? No, it's a scam.

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops