What's the difference between a cheeseburger and a dead baby............I don't j!zz on the cheeseburger before I eat it.

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Q why was John bullied A Becuase he told kids that bullying was a bad and serious problem to get them to stop bullying jimmy unfortunately Jimmy killed himself because he was bullied to much and didn't want to live.

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why didnt the whiteperson sit down at obama's election? because he had hemorrhoids

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Can I have a dollar? I don't know, can you?

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last night i was doing some guy in the ass. i went to give him a reach around and the homo had a boner! freakin queer.

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Wife, "Wake up... i think there's someone in the house, do something... go downstairs and have a look!" Husband, "Do it yourself." Wife, "You what? You can't expect a woman to fight off an intruder..." Husband, "You women wanted equal rights so here you go, do it yourself."

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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Make it? Sodium levels? Means he is eating right? Its not ADHD, the chatter is his way of coping with pain and what I believe is PTSD (dont tell him, he would get mad, if he gets that blank stare while chatting a lot its like he is back in the past for a while, please distract him out of it, but dont tell him anything about that. Give him what he wants, its a secret but Nero masters hypnosis, and he pretty much knows himself to a point far beyond others know themselves, he can sense lies and knows how others are feeling just by the movement of their pupils, their eyes, their breath, the tonality of their voice and lots of things like that, I think thats some sort of hypnosis as well, he uses ritalin in order to focus and shut off pain receptors mentally and stuff I don't understand, I am sure he would not ask for it unless he knew he could take it, he has literally performed surgery on himself before, the kind that would kill anyone unless under strong anesthetics. (removed bullets from the back of his skull, people say its just a myth, but I was there so I know its true) Please trust me on this as weird as it might sound.

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What's the difference between my mom, and a bag of garbage? A bag of garbage is incapable of contracting aids

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Why was the little boy sad? -Because he was on Fire.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because a hollowed out pineapple carcass would not be able to last longer than a month in that high concentration of sodium.

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Whats the difference between a cow and a sheep a cow goes baa and a sheep goes moo

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Q:Whats 2+2? A: 4

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What is worse then dying of testicular cancer? Living of testicular cancer and having one amputated?

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How did the black man get a nice car? He spent 8 years of his life getting a doctorate so he could be hired at a job that will pay for his desired vehicle.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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How do you confuse a girl? Easily.

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What the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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Why does Gandalf have special powers? Because Dumbledore died.

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What do you get if you pour water over a firework? A wet firework

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Why did the little boy fall out the window? A child molester pushed him.

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Whats more funny than 1 bomb on 8 babies? 8 bombs on 1 baby.

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What do a turtle and a bowling ball have in common? Nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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