what do you call an octopus with 9 tentacles? a male octopus

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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What do you do if your walking into a room full of Lions and Jaguars? You stop walking.

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A man asked Alexander the Great if he was gay, yet Alexander the Great was not offended. Why? Because "gay" has a rather different connotation than in the modern world than it did in earlier time periods where it meant "happy". Also, Macedonians, Alexander the Great's native people, did not speak English so he would not understand the question. Also Alexander the Great was gay in the sense that he was actually a homosexual.

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If life gives you melons. You may be dyslexic.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Why did Suzie's friend put rubbish in her mouth? Because Suzie is a rubbish bin.

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Why did humpty dumpty fall off a wall? Well it turns out that he was a raging psycopath. to add on, he was also a suicidal

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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What did the squirrel say to Justin Bieber? We both enjoy nuts.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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Why couldn't billy hear his mom on the phone? Because Billy is deaf.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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How do you help a one-armed man down from a tree? Wave.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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i dont fisish anythi

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Stephen hawking walks into a bar.

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You had better thumbs up this post.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops