Why did the boy fall of of his bicycle? He was hit by an asteroid.

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

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An atmosphere goes into one bar. Which is pretty normal since it is roughly the regular value of the atmospheric pressure on Earth at sea level

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Why did the chicken cross the road... so people could keep asking that question for 4000 years

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Two carnivorous dinosaurs get into a fight. Carnage ensues and many baby dinosaur eggs are stomped on, and in the end they both die.

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Why did the elephant get on the roof? To jump in the pool.

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A farmer accidentally trips his wife. She falls down the stairs and the farmer is quickly arrested for murder.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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What happened when Susie fell off the Ferris Wheel? There was an open seat.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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Reality is often boring. TV is often bad for you. Reality TV is boring AND bad for you.

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Your momma is so dumb she'd starve if she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store. -Actually my mom has a pHD in Nutritional Science. If she were trapped in a fully stocked grocery store, she'd utilize that knowledge to maintain a balanced diet until a way was made available for her to return home.

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My favorite part of the movie Frozen is when the parents die.

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A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

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How do you make a great cake? Bett Crocker books

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

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Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some exercise. They were getting terribly overweight.

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What's worse than a papercut? why do you insist on asking me these questions?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops