How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A terrorist.

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Jennifer Kim... having a boyfriend!

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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What's heed and has wheels? Your mom.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar Was it you? No

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Roses are red, violets are blue; So give me head, or I queue you!

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What do you call 100 black men at the bottom of the ocean? A scuba group because during these hot summer months they like to cool off and go scuba diving.

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Q:How many cavemans does it take to screw in a lightbulb A: None there was no electricity back then

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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What's more funny than 10 dead babies in the bottom of a trash can? 1 dead baby in the bottom of 10 trash cans...

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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A man walks into a bar, the bartender says, "why the long face?" the man replies, "my wife has terminal cancer and has been given 2 weeks to live."

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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My aunt always said slow and steady wins the race She died in a fire

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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Q: How do you turn a purple panda into a red panda A: Feed it grey poop and because it tasted so bad it got so mad it turned red.

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How can you tell the difference between Brooke Colbert or any other girl Jesse has been with? It's easy, Brooke the only one Jesses ever been with. They even share the same bra size.

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When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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