a man checks his mypsace

thumb_up thumb_down +13

whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock. who's there? interupting doctor. interupting doctor who....you have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The good part of "Age" of Ultron? THANOS REIGNS! Disagree? Just leave the green thumb and fuck off!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

thumb_up thumb_down +13

That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Obesity runs in your family. To bad no one runs in your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Well no, thats not true, sorry, I mean I GET THAT ALL THE FUCKING TIME!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh..wait...that's actually an anti-joke already...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you do if a goose comes flying towards you? Duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the best way to tell if your wife has been cheating on you with the UPS guy? simply ask her, trust and communication in relationships are vital in their survival and growth.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops