What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? Take the pin out and throw it back. Then look down and realize there's still an active grenade in your hand. You've just become the joke

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? He got many things, because everyone felt bad for him. Someone even brought him into their house so he could have Christmas dinner. On Christmas Day someone gave him fifty dollars to spend on food for his family. Only thing is, he didn't have a family.

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What's hard when you eat a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all began in 1807 when a 7 foot rooster gave birth to a chicken on the sidewalk while purchasing ice cream. Scientists have been intrigued so they went into study with it and won the Nobel prize. This somehow persuaded them to lure the chicken over to the other side by using a lollipop. They threw the lollipop as the chicken crossed the road, hit it in the eye, the chicken spazzed out, jumped in front of a car, teleported to London, and is now a gynecologist.

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A dyslexic blind man

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What's green and doesn't fly? A broken green helicopter.

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What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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My wife told me that I should see things from a woman's point of view. So I looked out the kitchen window.

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Q. Where's your nan???? A. In my closet

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Why did Jim go to the hospital? To get an autopsy.

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Once upon a time a guy took his pants off why because he was touching himself

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An orphan falls off a cliff.

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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What did Helen Keller say to the little boy with cancer? Hudd Wahher shelper, ghh o.

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God told John to come forth and recieve internal golry forever. John came fifth and recieved a toaster.

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How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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Roses are red Violets are blue If you need a poo.... ...hold it in.

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A class of kids were bouncing basketballs in class and a woman teacher comes in and says,"No balls in the classroom please." All the boys leave the class.

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Why did Jack like oranges? - Penis

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Three men walk into a gay bar, and have a great time because they're all of consensual age and brought condoms for safe sex.

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What did the french toast say to the french fry? I don't know, I don't speak french.

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A man walks into a bar. It hurt.

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What's harder than nailing a dead baby on a tree? My dick while doing it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops