Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the user is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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what do the students call their red-headed friend? Mike.

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Why does the boy like ice-cream? It tastes good.

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"DUDE! THERE IS A KNIFE IN YOUR LEG!" "SERIOUSLY!"

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And now a word from our sponsors

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Your mom is so old, that when somebody told her to act her age, she died.

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What's green and has wheels? Nope, it's a car.

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why did suzie fall of the swings? because she had no arms.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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What characterizes a good joke? The lack of a punch line.

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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Why did the black man cross the road? To escape from his owner.

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how do you boil oil? add b to oil

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what happens if you drop a spoon? it sounds a lot, and it's annoying

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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What did the whale do when he was angry? He beached himself, causing a major ecological disaster and costing the beach community thousands of dollars to return him to the water.

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HELP!!! I locked myself in my bathroom and can't get out! my laptop is running out of batteries!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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