Why did the girl drop out of school? She was being sexually assaulted by her mothers alcoholic boyfriend and was having trouble coping.

Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

nobody move! I've dropped my brain.

united we sit, cause we're fat

Why did little jimmy fall of the playground? He was blind and wasn't aware of his surroundings

Q. Why did the dinosaur cross the road? A. Because chickens hadn't evolved yet.

The duck didn't cross the road.

What's worse then a bad hair day? Hattie.

I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

Why didn't the boomerang return? It hit a baby

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

I have read and agreed to the terms of service

Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

Sir, your wife is dead

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

What did Hitler say to Mussolini? I don't know. I wasn't there.

Why couldn't the girl go to the bathroom? Because she was obese.

guest who else is a ugly bitch my mom

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

yo mamma's so fat you're fat too, because it's genetical

What can fit between breasts? Is long? And gets hard when you jerk it? A seatbelt.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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