A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

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A fat guy!

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the buchter.

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What happens when you run over a black man? It is most likely that he is killed.

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My uncle got hit by a truck, what was the last thing to go through his mind? The drive shaft.

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Q: What is black and white, black and white, black and white? A: A Nun falling down the stairs.

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Snake: YES muahaha Eve eat the fruit from the three of wisdom muahahaha! Why do you not share with Adam? Muahahaha! Snake: Why is nothing happening? Then the sky opened and a heavenly voice spoke: "Well as long as none eats fruit from the three of KNOWLEDGE... Hmm, I better get rid of it altogether..." Snake: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

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A house comes around the corner.

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Q: How does 5 gay people walk together? A: In One Direction.

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A man walks to a baseball game what does he see? Many people

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was walking.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, It's not my fault, I found you in a zoo!

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what does a buttler put in a closet ? stuff.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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I went to the opticians to get my eyes checked. The optician said "you need glasses".

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Three drunk llamas wearing sombreros are walking down the street. They walk in silence, lost in their own thoughts.

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Why did the man die when he saw the light? It was a strobe light and he died from an epileptic seizure

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At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

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Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

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How does a person put an elephant in a closet? First they have to open the door, then put the elephant in and close the door. That was easy well how does a person put a giraffe in. You probably said open the door and put the giraffe in and close the door. Well you missed a step first you have to take the elephant out then you can put in the giraffe. Well both animals are to big to fit in a closet so you can't put them in and also the person who put the animals in is schizophrenic and the animals are fake so if you believed that you could fit them in there you might be delusional.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops