A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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whats the difference between a ladybug and a jew? there is none

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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Why was it so hard for teachers to teach Tommy? Tommy is brain dead

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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A priest, a nun and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman says 'what is this, a joke?'

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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why was the black guy running from the cops? i dont know either

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops