What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding two worms. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Dying from cancer.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

whats green and lives in the water

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

Q. why did the boy who just had his first kiss feel no emotion? A. He got hit a Croquet mallet and died

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

why can't dead peaple have sex? because they're dead.

You know what's worse than finding a real joke on antijoke.com? AIDS

How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

rozes r read violots r bue i cannt soell causse ima bliend

Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

Why doesn't Helen Keller know how to drive? because she's a woman.

Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

ohai. whutz en ahntei johk? sownz soopihd.

What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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What's the new green? Green

One man walks on a bridge, another man sees him but doesn't really care about him.

A man walks into a bar. After recovering, he sues the bar for it's irregular glass doors.

What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

Why did the man die? Supercalifragilisticexpialidosious

Paris Hilton spend 2 whole days in the slammer due to possesion of narcotics. I would have gotten 20 to life... no... it's not funny...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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