What did the black man say when a blond walked into the bar? " Hi Molly"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was booted into the air by a screaming Russian osselot.

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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What do you get when Justin Bieber mates with a beaver? Nothing, the species are too genetically different to produce offspring

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Knock Knock... Who's there? Nine... Nine who? Nine Eleven.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "James" "James who?" "What the heck?You forgot me already?Its your bestfriend dude.Now let me in." ~Lil

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What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

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Why did the turtle cross the road? Because there was a chicken stapled to his face.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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What happened to the pleasure robot he pleasured someone in the pussy

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What's brown and smells like paint? -Poop. I don't know why it smells like paint though..

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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What color is an orange chicken? Fried rice

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How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

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You- I came up with a new word! Friend- What is it? You- Plagiarism.

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Why do ducks fly south for the winter? because its to far to waddle

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What's the difference between dead babies and punching bag? No one makes jokes about punching bags.

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Q: What is the difference between a moose and a cow? A: How they're spelled.

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What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops