Why did Billy run away from a mysterious adult? He was playing the iconic game known as tag where 2+ people chase each other in an attempt to tag them.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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Why did Suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. okay? Why did the chicken cross the road? why? because its motor skills allowed it to cross. dude, seriously? What did Jimmy's grandmother get him for Christmas? What?. Nothing she died two years ago. that's horrible. When did she die? On his birthday. Dude, stop! Wait how did she die? Fine, How? She was driving down the road and swerved to miss a chicken. oh. And what did she hit? UGGG What? Thankfully not me. because I wasn't the tree. :0 oooooooooooooh

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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What happened to the kids bike? It broke when he got hit by a bus

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A homeless guy was walking along the beach when all of a sudden he see's what looked like to be magic genie's lamp so he pick the lamp up whipes it off then sells it for black tar herion.

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When I see the Viagra commercial telling you about all the side effects and they say "if you have an erection lasting for more than 4 hours, call a doctor." If I have an erection that lasts that long, I'm not calling a doctor. I'm calling my mom; who I always call when I'm sick.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have a fetish for sniffing your shoes.

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Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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why did the black go to the KFC because he likes fried chicken

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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Why did the women leave the kitchen? Because the The husband told her to...

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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What do you call a fridge painted red and brown? A fridge.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut you racist bastard

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Roses are red Violets are blue These are facts that many people know

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What do you call a man with bananas in his ears? A doctor. He is clearly mentally unstable, and probably in pain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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