What did Jesus say to the jews? Fuck you.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +5

We are few Nero, too few, if I want to split my money with you, would it help you find true happiness?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

h

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Roses are red Violets are blue I hate rhyming Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did little polly fall off her her roof? Because she saw a ice-cream van

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Jimmy fall off the swing? He had no arms. Knock-knock Who's there? Not Jimmy

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wanna hear a joke? No? Oh

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: Why do geese fly in a V? A: It's more aerodynamic.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So Nero, do we tell people your comments are all containing codes and stuff so we can stay in touch?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the boyfriend give his girlfriend for Valentine's Day? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +5

-Why was six afraid of seven? -Because seven's a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There is a wizard standing on a street corner. A boy walks up to the wizard and says, "Can you turn invisible?" The wizard replies, "Oh, I'm not a wizard. I'm a hobo with a long beard and a bathrobe." The hobo then proceeded to begging the boy for money.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I have a black friend that recently went to the doctor for a full checkup. I saw him today, and he we was dressed to the nines in a very expensive suit. "What's with the suit," I asked. "My doctor told me I'm impotent! So I thought, if I'm going to be impotent, then it'll be harder to attract a long term mate without the ability to give her children someday. So I've decided to showcase my impeccable taste in style to make up for it." He seemed really bummed out, so I gave him a hug and we went and had some ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the man give his wife for her anniversary? Nothing. The man is a raging alcoholic and forget her anniversary due to his high alcoholic intake during the past few weeks. Even if he did remember he most likely didn't care after seeing his wife cheat on him with another woman putting his marriage into shambles.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the hardest part of walking through a pile of dead babies? My penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops