Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down

News:Little boy found dead in old man's white van. Turns out the old man goes to the store and when he comes back the little boy chokes on an apple.

thumb_up thumb_down

how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats 2=2? gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down

There's a black man in my family tree. Therefore, I could be considered biracial.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because sally has no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down

Vote this down and get DOXED

thumb_up thumb_down

No your aunties a joke

thumb_up thumb_down

Where was the black child's dad? At work. He'll be back around 6:30

thumb_up thumb_down

What's worse than the WNBA? The Cleveland Cavaliers.

thumb_up thumb_down

What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats hairy and crys your mom

thumb_up thumb_down

A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock, Who's there Why did the chicken cross the road? Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down

whats worse than a pile of dead babies?...... A carrot

thumb_up thumb_down

Why do birds suddenly appear? Because they can fly

thumb_up thumb_down

Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's the same about a clown and a knife? They are both fun, except for the clown. I hate clowns.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the toilet paper roll? Because it isn't rock!

thumb_up thumb_down

What did Tom see after taking a much need long nap? The ceiling.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red Violets are blue I love you a lot But you're dead and I have unhealthy necrophiliac tendencies

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

thumb_up thumb_down

A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops