Why didn't Josh go to school? On his way to school, a majestic flying homeless man hit him in the head with a sea cucumber.

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Two men walk into a bar and begin ordering drinks. Both men engage in polite conversation with each other. At the end of the night they each take taxi's home because they realize the potential risk they pose to others if they drive intoxicated.

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What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

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What did the fish say when it swam into a wall? "shit"

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Once there was an ugly barnical, He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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I just started the seafood diet. It consists primarily of eating fish due to its high nutritional content.

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A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

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What do you call a black elephant? An elephant.

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9/11 jokes are just plane wrong

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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why barack obama sad he realized the 4 trillion dollars of debt wasn't going be solved by borrowing more money

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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What did the magician's assistant say after the magician cut her in half?... Nothing. Her spine was severed and she died instantly.

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How do u kill a gay man? Shoot him in the head

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? ...Neither have they.

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What do u call a matthew vasquez with a guitar, a one man mariachi band... cuz he is mexican

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Have you heard of the lawnmower joke? No neither have I

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How do you make an egg laugh? You can't. Eggs are inanimate objects which are incapable of emotion, thus laughter.

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Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

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Did you hear about the Mexican boy scout that helped that old lady cross the border.

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Eeny meeny miny mo, Catch a tiger by it's toe, If he hollers let him go, Because if you don't he would attack you and go straight for you're neck and you would die a painful death...

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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