what do you call a black guy under water? A Scuba Diver

Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Nobody because Repeat is a good friend and he went in after Pete.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To see if he can make before the car hits him.

What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

Why did the black man buy fried chicken? Because it wasn't free.

What do you call a black guy that feeds children? A waiter

A wise man once said, "I am wise".

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

What do you get when you cross a badger and a paper bag? The badger is cross of course but the bag is inanimate and can't be angered.

What's better than having sex ? Having sex and being rich.

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

What did the mother do when she find out her daughter left for the party? Nothing. She realized her daughter was old enough to make mature descions.

What do Richard and Judy have in common? Nothing.

Why did the man walk into the wall? He was blind.

What do Austrailian cows say? Moo.

Roses are red, violets are blue. i have Alzheimer's, cheese on toast.

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

Tom: Knock knock! Guy: Who's there? Tom: Carrot. Guy: Impossible.

An astronaut and a cosmonaut are sitting in a bar, discussing who was better. The cosmonaut says, "We Russians were the first people in space!" The astronaut says, "That may be true, but we were the first to land on the moon my friend." The cosmonaut turns back to the astronaut and says, "Yes, but we shall be then first to ever land on the Sun!" So, the astronaut skeptically asks, "And how do you intend to do that?" The cosmonaut replies, "Simple.......we will go at night." Thank you to David Cross

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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