how do you know when your in love? massive erection.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Q: Why did the baby cry when it came out of the moms stomach? A: The doctor dropped it!

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What do mario and luigi have in common They are both plumbers

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Can you sign for this package? Certainly

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, you have a disease, it's called cancer.

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Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returned and said, "My friend does not have a pulse and he is not breathing, so I stand by my prior assumption."

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Why did the asian lady buy the large shirt instead of the medium? Because the medium didn't fit

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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once you go Persian, there is no other alternative

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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Q: John gets attacked with a chainsaw, how many stitches does he get? A: None, Hes dead jim

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers. -Del Primm

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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Why did the teenager drink a beer? Because it was actually full of sizzurp

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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Why was the baby so hot? Napalm. Why was the baby so cold? Meat locker.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops