- Anti Joke

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Q. what happend to the guy who walked by an alley in new york? A. he got beat up by a robber wich took hes money, cellphone, keys and his abillity to walk.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the p is silent!

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

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What is a six letter word for cactus? Cactus

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy.

caoimhin you satan of CHRIST IM A DICIPLE OF CHRIST UNLIKE YOU

Why did the kid fall off is bike? He was hit by a bus.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

An eleven year old boy walks into a bar... he is searching for his father, who has a known alchol problem, and has been missing for five days.

why do midgets surf in kitchens? because of microwaves.

why did the chicken cross the road ? how else is he going to get to the other side

A horse walked into a bar. The bar was part of the fence he was enclosed by.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

Why did you step on my watermelon?

Why was the girl crying? She just got diagnosed with cancer you inconsiderate bastard.

Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind, not to mention deaf and mute.

Why did Daniel Nitz cross the road during rush hour? Because he's an idiot.

When life gives you lemons you are like "how did I get these lemons?"

How many plumbers does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Plumbers don't do that. Electricians do.

whats worse than 9/11? not much haaaa