Why did the cow fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second cow fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first cow.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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What do Alzheimer patients think of the internet. Happy pi day.

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What's funny to laugh at dying? JEWS!

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What did the shark say to the beached whale? Nothing.

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A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

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What does "Ford" stand for? Nothing. It's the name of the company founder, not an acronym.

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If Waldo and Carmen Sandiego had a child it would be fictional.

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This isn't funny.

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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What do you call a bright orange fish? A gold fish.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says "I forgot to store my nuts for winter now I am dead". Ha! It's funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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How do you take money from a Mexican? You don't because they have none.

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What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? finding two worms in your apple

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Nothing is as strong as love, Except a nuclear warhead that can destroy entire cities! :P thoko like :D ~~k0mradey``

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Why did the bear turn red? Because he was emBEARessed. Nah just kidding, a hunter shot him.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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im a policeman the car infront of me had a foot hanging out of the trunk. i pulled him over. i closed the trunk and proceeded to inform him of the dangers of open trunks.

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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a man checks his mypsace

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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