If you're jumping rope, and both the tires are flat, how much frosting would it take cover the staircase? Rocket!

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Why couldn't little sally swim? Because she had weights on her ankles.

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The Below statement is an antijoke. The Above statement is a joke.

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem doesn't make sense Potato

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how hungry am i? well im as hungry a starving kid in africa!!!!

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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Roses are Red. Violets are blue. I took a shit on your wife's face last night.

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What's a black mans favorite thing to do Depends on that particular mans likes and interests

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When life gives you a hamburger, you know you're at Mr. Life's Hamburger Stand on 8th Avenue.

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Why did Dr. Phil fall of the swing? He couldn't figure out the couples problem.

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Q: Why did the black man drown? A: Because he couldn't swim.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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A man walks in to a bar, remembering he was actually going to the hardware store, he heads out and leave.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

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Why do women live longer? Once their sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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Q: What's green, red, and covered in cookie crumbs? A: A dead girl scout.

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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I was gonna make a gay joke but those are insensitive, and gays have feelings like everyone else

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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