A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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How do you stop a air plane? You throw small infants into the turbine.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Why should you never shower with a pokemon? Pokemon is a game for children. In doing so you would greatly disturb your child who is quite fond of pokemon

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In soviet Russia...things are different

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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why was the black guy running from the cops? i dont know either

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What did the black man say to the jew at a party Well hello i don't believe we met.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becuase he wanted to walk and the road was the only available place to do so

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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What's green and looks like a forest? A forest.

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE!

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why did the elephant cross the road? It was the chickens day off

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your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

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How many Italians does it take to change a light bulb....... 1

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what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My grandmother has degenerative brain disease, We may need to euthanise her.

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Why was it cold in Florida on Monday? Because there was an irregular cold front moving through. The Monday part was just a coincidence.

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Why did the Mexican cross the road? Because he was late for his uncle's funeral, which was taking place in the church across from his apartment.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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whats worse than getting caught by a teacher for chewing gum? getting kidnapped by a giant hawk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops