A man has a parrot who repeats everything the man says. He constantly complains about his mother-in-law and everytime he says her name it follows with the word bitch. One day she makes a suprise visit and he greets her with a "Oh hello Doris" , he looks in horror to see if the parrot will call her a bitch but instead finds the parrot dead because he forgot to feed it for 4 days.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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What's worse than strapping 10 dead baibes to a tree? Strapping a dead baby to 10 trees.

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What do a Jew and a whale have in common? They're both Jewish. Except the whale.

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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Rose are brown, Violets are brown, Who keeps pooping in my garden?

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How do you starve a black man? You slowly emasculate him over 400 years through a system designed solely for the benefit of whites, and subsequently he is malnourished.

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You ask your friend if they want to hear a joke when they say yes tell them that thought you had a joke

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

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Why did the blonde fail her science test? Because she spent all day at the hair salon getting her hair died from brown to blonde when she should have spent the time productively studying.

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Q. What did the boy do for his birthday? A. Nothing. His birthday occurred on 9-11.

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how do you save a black man ... u don't

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What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

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Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

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A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

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A man walks into a bar. Splash.

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What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

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I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

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What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops