Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Q: Why don't chicken breasts have nipples? A: because if you freeze them, they will pop the package.

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What is the similarity between John W. Booth and Pee Wee Herman? They both got arrested for shooting someone in the back of the head in the theater.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He probably saw a delicious looking patch of grass on the otherside.

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What's worse than dying in a car wreck with your family? You being the only one that dies.

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A black guy and a white girl are having sex. The white girl screams "I'm pregnant!!!!" The black guy says "i'll help you take care of it" "I love you sweetie and nothing will come between us"

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Q:Why couldn't little Bobby read the bible? A: His parents weren't into religion and he was blind

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what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at poetry Show me your titties

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

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What did the man do when he went in the bathroom he took a crap wiped his butt and washed his hands and went back to meet his family at the dinner table

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Whats more fun than swinging a baby around on a clothesline at 200 miles per hour ? Stopping it with a shovel

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Why didn't the cat play with the ball of yarn? It was drowned in a toilet.

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Blind jokes are not funny! I just don't see the humor in them

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Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

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Q. What did the barber say to the Italian kid? A. Do you want your hair cut or should I just change the oil.?

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Q. There were 2 Mexicans in a car, who was driving it? A. The police officer.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

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How was the copper wire invented? 2 Jews pulling on the same penny!

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A duck walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender realizing this is an odd situation, seeing that ducks cannot articulate the English language, realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and turns to tell his wife about the dream, but she won't respond. He then realizes how his marriage is in shambles...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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