What's the difference between an airplane and a cantaloupe? What? Wow your a dumby head.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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Whats the difference between a black guy at the beach, and a black guy at the zoo? One is at the beach, and one is at the zoo.

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Why did the boy live on the street? He was an orphan.

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This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What's worse than speaking to a Russian bear? Gettting mauled and eaten by one.

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Why did the man get frustrated searching through a box of forks? He was looking for a spoon.

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nick walked into macdonalds... everyone stood up and left as they saw the potential danger in the situation.. nick later ended up bieng hit by a bus after chasing a duck

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What did the Frog say to the other Frog? Nothing they can't speak

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I want to get you pregnant.

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whats fat, green and hairy? Nothing I would pleasure myself to.

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i wonder who made this website? a human

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Why was the leaf green? Chlorophyll

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: Hahahaha! I can't read.

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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What do you call a zebra eating Cheerios? A zebra eating Cheerios.

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What do you call a Mexican kicking a ball? A soccer player

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What did little ben get for christmas? A dead grandma

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I don't want to hear another joke about female hygiene, PERIOD! -Lets go Mets

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks him "why the long face?" "All horses have long faces" he replied.

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What do you get when you mix a black person with an octopus? i dont know. but it sure picks cotton well.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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