Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

How did the Jew survive the Holocaust? Trick question he didn't

What do you call a man with a Club approaching a Seal Very Strong considering he can hold a building

If Chuck Norris has $5, and you have $5, Chuck Norris still has more money than you.

A man walks into a police station with a gun... He is there to turn it in, he found it on the side of the road and realized that this situation would best be handled by the proper authorities.

What do you call a man with a seagull on his head? Whatever his name happens to be.

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

Roses are red Violets are purple, and anyone who tells you otherwise is wrong.

You know what they say about fat thumbs? They give a lot of accidental comment likes on statuses.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To commit suicide thus getting to the other side(hell/heaven)

5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

Why did John not like his chocolate? It wasn't chocolate it was poop.

Why did the child not go to his mother's funeral? He was adopted, he didn't know his real mom.

Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

Jewwy Jewstein

What do men and parking spots have in common? Both often have cars on top of them. Vehicular manslaughter is a serious issue.

What is the difference between a group of magicians and a cheerleading squad? One has a cunning array of stunts.

What's the difference between an American and a British guy? Their fingerprints.

A seal walks into a club. The poacher continues to beat the seal to death.

Wenn Sie dies zu übersetzen, dann ist dein ein Esel

Q: What do you call a blonde that just bought a new car? A: Carol

What do a baby and a slinky have in common? They both bring a smile to your face when you push then down a flight of stairs.

Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

What's worse than 9/11? FaZe Banks' upload times

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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