"To tea to to to" -- russian tourist, asking for two tea to room 22. (DOKA)

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? This site.

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Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? The Pterodactyl species became extinct 65 million years ago, and thus if you saw one today, you would be immediately taken into a mental hospital.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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I'm so punny.

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Two men meet at an office. One man says "why the long face?" Then other man says "I just had plastic surgery."

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Whats the difference between an aboriginal and a deer? Nothing, infact they are quite similar, they have no house and smell like wild animals and jaywalk.

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They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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What's funny about a small child with no arms, no legs? Nothing.. Nothing at all.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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Why did the Michael lose the race? Because he had no legs.

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What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

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Nope, but you know those like little stop motion things with clay figures? Plompsters or something?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Ron Sparks.

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Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

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What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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What do you call a dog without a bone? Floppy.

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your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

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I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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