Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was holding on to the first one. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Pier pressure.

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- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

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why cant little timmy ski? he was born without legs.

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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What is worse than torture? Not much.

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Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you make a little boy cry? Cut off his legs.

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What do a blueberry and a raspberry have in common? They are both commonly used in parfaits.

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I asked god for a bike but i know he doesn't work like that so i stole a bike and asked him for forgiveness

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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ewrg

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting cow Interrupting cow wh- SHUT UP!

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What's the worst subject in school? None of them. You need school to get by in life. Get over it.

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How come the man could read the directions? Because it was right side up.

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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What do an elephant and a can of soup have in common? They both can't ride a bike

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Aiming with a revolver? That`s fucking overrated. with a heavy powerful revolver such as this one, you do not necessarily need to aim that well at the heart of your enemy in order to blow his brains out.

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Why did the boy have to ride the bus? Because both his parents died.

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a brand new Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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