Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

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what did the african say after he got beat by the cops? wow i really shouldn't have sliced that mans head off.

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A man says hello to his best friend in the morning like he always does. Why did his best friend not reply? The mans best friend is not real and is actually a figment of the mans imagination because he has been suffering from a severe case of schizophrenia his whole life and has many imaginary friends.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

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PLEASE HELP IM TRAPPED IN SOME GUYS HOUSE PLEASE SOMEBODY HAS TO SEE THIS IF I TEXT HE WILL SEE IT IM AT

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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what's up? my penis.

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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A girl said to her boyfriend, "you take my breath away." The boy said, "that isn't possible" and they proceeded to have sex.

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A man was about to be assassinated. The assassin said "do you have any last wishes? The man said he wished that a meteor would fly down and kill the assassin. A meteor actually did come down but that was predicted years back. The meteor fell on the assassin and killed him, the man, and any living thing aboveground on Earth.

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Why did the pirate get kicked out of the pirate movie? He killed 7 people while looking for treasure under the seats.

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Knock knock Who's there? The bank. We've come to evict you from your house.

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why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

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knock knock who's there? to to who? to whom*

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Why didnt the vampire have a reflection? You have to be real to have a reflexion

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Why did the man go to Lourdes Because he has lost all hope

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Q: What do you call 10 babies at the bottom of the ocean? A: Dead

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Why did the black man sleep all day? He suffered from narcolepsy.

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What did the raped girl get for Christmas? Pregnant.

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How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

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what do you call a redneck virgin? a seven year old that can run faster than her brothers.

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You can pick your ur nose u can pick ur friends u just can't pick ur friends nose.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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