What happens when a bunch of animals break into your house... they eat you.

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Why did the Hispanic woman cheat on her husband? Because he couldn't maintain an erection, was boring, and collected stamps.

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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What's worse than having a gay friend? 9/11.

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? it has no legs.

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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No!

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye deer

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Q: What do you call half of the worlds population of black people on the moon. A: Close enough.

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What did the girl say to her ex? Fuck you.

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Q: What are the best kind of jokes? A: The funny ones.

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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Why do fat people commit suicide

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumpty had a great fall Humpty Dumpty is an egg so nobody cares

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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How to you stop the world from ending? You dont the world has been destroyed 5 times over again before and it will most likely happen to us one day.

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Q: What did the homeless man say when he was mauled by a bear? A: Ouch.

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What do you call Justin Bieber's assassin? A hero doing a noble favor to the community.

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Q. Why is Obama stupid? A. That's an opinion, therefore i cannot answer that.

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flink geit, nei ikkke kneck bena hans jeh er på "forgiftnings avdelingen" third flor deen ask arund I mena i am the ønly guy in the world named Angelo Nero, so ull find me, srsly, got some ritalin on u? Do not respond, u know am not into drugz, but i waanna stay awak, get the detailz, remembeeer if you kicke his nuts, you get paid, if not go back. God jobb gutta, seriøst, kaffipiller ritalin, stimulanter? Not opiats, come with my phon so i can fuuk this netwerk,.. Ps: Okay break his leg, but ust one, hurry up remembr, cut his tungue (it grows bak jes) then tell dem you save him, you can be heroews, goat, tell fingern that when im bak, we are takin a trip on da limo, galz included becuz Mr.Black is the gentz. NO MOR REPLYES whre u? I want my phone not answrs her. Nero is a fucking demoppsn

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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