Oracle horacle, you big bloated boracle!

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A religion is like a penis. They are both nouns.

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A white man walked into a bar, and an indian walked into a totem pole...

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A man jumps of the roof of his building. The superindentant now owns the building and the man who jumped off the building has 59 fractures. Oh and he died.

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Why did 5 members of the Al-Qaeda walk into the bank? To make 5 seperate cash withdrawals

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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Why did the rooster cross the road? To go play with the other roosters.

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guess what what ...

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What's the difference between a mac and a pc? Well haven't you seen the commercials.

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A blind man walks into a bar. I mean a fence.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well you can't because you are reading this

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dylan wishes life was like cod. that way he would actually be able to do something cool

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Sam: This math homework is gay. Cory: You should pursue a romantic relationship with your gay math homework.

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why did the guy cross the road? Because he felt like it

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What is worse than being bitten by a snake? Being bitten twice! - Louis

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i suck a poetry now show me your tits!!!

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Why was Nathan upset Because his sister died from an undiagnosed case of tuberculosis

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A man walks into a bar. It resulted in a concussion and 17 stitches.

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roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

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A horse walks into a bar the barmam asks why the long face The horse replies he's suffering from depression after his family was killed in a car crash and he has now turned to alcohol to sort his sorrows

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How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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A lady in a bank was asked by the clerk to round the sum she wanted to raise from her account. She rounded it several times, but the clerk continued to insist that the sum needs to be rounded. She left the bank confused, with a coupon consisting of completely rounded sum of 691, 88$. Next day she returned with a coupon with a rounded sum of 690,88$. The clerk asked again the lady to round the sum. The lady started helplessly to cry and said she had rounded is already with a harp, and couldn't make it round anymore, she even removed the sharp 1 from the sum.

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My brother found a worm in his apple. I dared him to eat it, so he did. When he tried to swallow, the mashed up worm congealed in his throat, killing him. Later, I found out that the worm had poisonous rectum fluids. I was given the Nobel Peace prize.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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