How do you know you're crazy? Consult the pink pheasent to your left

Person 1: What do you get when you cross a cow and your mom? Person 2: What? Person 1: A cow that looks like your mom

Q: How do you know a chinese guy robbed your house? A: your homework is done, your computer is updated, and 2 hours later he is still trying to back out of your driveway

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean. I'm still addicted to heroin, though. No chance I'm ever giving that up.

If the human population held hands around around the equator A significant portion of them would drown.

A: Did you know Helen Keller had a treehouse? B: No. A: Neither did she.

Q: How did the robber steal a laptop from best buy? A: With his hands

What did the prostitute say to the president of the United States? Good morning Mr. President. She had managed to leave the sex industry, finished her education and was doing secretarial work in the White House.

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

Her doctor told her that if she didn't start watching her cholesterol she might suffer from heart related illness in the near future.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There not the girl

An Iranian, a Mexican, and an American are on an airplane. The plane is too heavy to take off, so to lighten the load, each person has to throw off something their country has a lot of. The Iranian throws off a nuclear bomb. The Mexican throws off a sombrero. The American throws off an apple pie.

How do you get a Jew to jump off a cliff? You kidnap his family and threaten to kill them if he doesn’t.

Q: What do you call Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen. A: two things: Their names, and a doctor because they are both in need of a nutritionist.

Why did the sloth cross the road To fuck your gay cousin

How many Ringmasters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They tell the clowns to do it

Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your family is dead.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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