Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock -Who's there Not Sarah

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I can prove I'm a psychic - this post is going to receive a lot of dislikes.

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Why was the black man running? He has to stay fit for the army.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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My friend was in court for stealling smoothies so i told him to plead innocent and received 10 years in a federal prison and a fine of up too £5000 pounds

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A Black Child just received his ivy-league diploma and hugged his dad.

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Why did the shrimp refuse to share? Because he was a little shellfish.

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It is wrong to strip a homeless man of his clothes and chew his face off. Note to self: Explain this to someone before they have taken bath salts.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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Roses are red Pickles are green I leik ur legs and whats inbetween

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What do you do when your wife is about have a baby? Throw her off the balcony go into parking lot and reach into her mouth if you feel a leg stab her in the belly button untill her intestines are coming out and burn the body singing Elmo's world

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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What do you get when you cross an Indian and a duck? An Indian duck.

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If Michelle rides her bike at 15 mph for 20 minutes and Erik rides his bike at 20 mph for 12 minutes, why is Michelle not in the kitchen?

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your mommas so fat she has been advised to diet and excercise or run the risk of terminal illness

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Whats worse than one bee? Two bees. Whats worse than two bees? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Three bees.

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a black is sexuel but a white nothin without a car.i mean im nothin i dont have a car i mean realy where do you get a car?its awesome but stupid.

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so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

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Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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A black man walks into a bar with a lovely parrot on his shoulder. The bartender asks "hey where did you get that Africa says the parrot...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops