How does a guy with no arms kill himself? It's called murder.

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What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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i did a 360 noscope, then i jizzed. from dylan

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Three men walk into a bar. The first guy bought two drinks, the second guy bought three drinks, can you guess what the third guy bought? A tazer.,

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if you press the thumbs up button nyan cat is going to visit you tonight

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why couldnt the black man fly, becuse his master said he coudnt.

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Why did the head football coach go to the bank? Not to get his quarter back cause that'll cost him at least ten million a year.

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart. I am still waiting for a transplant.....

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A penguin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A: Cancer

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What is an offensive term to refer to black people who lived in the time of the Flintstones? n*ggers

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Why can't Elvis Presley drive a car backwards? Because he's dead!

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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what's black and white and red all over? nothing... it's red

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What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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What did the man say after jumping into a well? He didn't say anything because he died instantly after jumping head first into a dry, 20 foot well. His family mourned for three days.

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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What did the Jew say to the Catholic? Nothing. He is a mute you insensitive moron!

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Man 1: Ask me if im a flower Man 2: "are you a flower?" Man 1: if i was a flower do you think i could talk? man 1 was wondering why man 2 was so uneducated

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A man is watching a football game and sees a comercial for a medicine that boosts testosterone levels. However, this man has no issues with his testosterone levels, so he proceeds to watch the rest of the game and then goes to bed.

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DON’T HIT KIDS!!! NO, SERIOUSLY, THEY HAVE GUNS NOW. Via: Pingzic collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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