Why can't Sally use the swings? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there?? ... Not Sally.

Whats green and has wings? grass, I lied about the wings.

what do you call a man with one leg? whatever his name is.

Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

You scream I scream We all screamed when the chicken crossed the road

What did Jimmy get for his first bithday A coffin

What is yellow and bright? The sun.

Roses are red Violets are blue There's nothing else I want to say

what do you call a black guy with a nice car? most probably a rapper or professional athlete, however there is also a great chance that he is a doctor of philosophy and well educated.

Knock, knock Who's there? The electrician And about bloody time too, you'd better come in.

What do you call a deer with no eyes? Anything you like, he's blind.

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

Tom: Hey Fred. Do you wanna hear a joke? Fred: Sure Tom! (long pause) (10 Minutes Later) Fred: Tom, I thought you were gonna tell me a joke? Tom: I did, the joke is that there is no joke.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

Jebron Lames.

Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

What is the Pirates favorite letter? C

Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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