A jew, a black, and a gay are walking together. The black points out a new house.

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What is short and yellow? Most Asians

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What's worst then a parking ticket? The plague

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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Knock knock Who's there? A Jehovahs Witness

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Man 1: my wife has lovley perfume. She smells like a peppermint cream. Man 2: Yeah, I know, I spent eight hours shagging her last night.

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the head repeatedly

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What is the best Anti-Joke ever? Your Mom. :(

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What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

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Q:Why did sarah fall off the swing? A:She had no arms. 1:Knock knock 2:who's there? 1:not sarah

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whats big red and eats bricks a big red brick eater

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What did the fruit say when it was about to be sliced in half? Nothing, fruits cannot talk, duh.

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Why did Johnny play piano with one hand? Because he lost his other one in a mining accident when he was 10. Johnny lives in rural Perú so he had to support his 6 younger brothers and sisters by working in a child factory.

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Why the FFUUU did you go back? Because I broke something huur.

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The boy asks his dad if he can make him a sandwitch The dad reply's " no thats your moms job"

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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I flipped through the Yellow Pages, made a few calls, and found the Chinese man I was looking for.

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Why did the boy wear a winter jacket on the hottest day of the year? Because the boy was in antarctica and the hottest day was still below freezing.

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Ask me if I'm wearing pants. Are you wearing pants? Yeah.

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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What's worse than cancer? Nothing.

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Why would a baby cry? Because it's being put through a juicer.

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What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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