Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

Why did George Bush climb the Statue of Liberty? I'm not sure, as this incident is not covered in any of the myriad books written about his administration.

Im black and want attention. I also love fried chicken and love Africa call for a good, African-American time..... Im black 4025406623

Paper or plastic? Yes...

How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

Every time I walk across the street I do the Hitler march and raise my arm straight out to salute him, if I feel like holding up traffic, I take smaller steps

If a tree falls in the forest, but nothing is there to hear it, does it still make noise ? Yes, because whether the action of the three falling produces sound waves or not is not dependent on whether something is there to receive these waves.

roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

Why was the boat red and sticky? A boy dropped his slurpee. What were you thinking?!

A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.The chicken was very distressed and trying to get away from the angry mob that followed close behind it.The chicken was never seen again. If you see a distressed chicken please contact your local police station.

What's worse than getting raped by a duck? Getting raped by two ducks.

How many black people does it take to screw In a lightbulb.....I can't see them.

asking someone to check ur broken wing mirror to fall into that persons arms by accident is not a good idea

Yo mama's chest is so flat that it's because she has stage five breast cancer and had to get both her breasts removed.

yo mama is so old, so old that she was given senior citizen discount at the restaurant.

How do you make something disappear from your hand? Throw it somewhere that's out of sight,

Why did the lamborghini drive off the cliff? Because the person driving was a fridge

What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a .... The boy didn't finish his sentence because he got hit by a fridge.

A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

Geography Teacher: What caused the earthquake of Japan? Me: Godzilla constipated too hard, and it caused an earthquake. Tsunami was the result of his poo. Geography Teacher: then how do you explain the after shocks...? Me: Godzilla shat his pants after the toilet

roses are red violets are blue i fucked your mom so did you

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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