Two Mice are sitting on a bridge , one falls down an the other is named Charlotte

Q. Why did the blonde die drinking milk? A. she was shot in the head by a 22.

Roses are flowers.

What's the difference between Santa clause and the Jews? Santa goes down the chimney

What did Helen Keller get for Christmas? A read along book

What's worse than falling out of a tree and landing on a dog? Rape.

when life throws you lemons you should probably get out of the way because it will hurt

wife: why are women's feet smaller husband: so they can stand closer to the kitchen sink

Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

What's the difference between contemporary Christian music?

What's worse then finding a worm in ur apple? Nothing it sucks and it's a waste of an apple

A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

What do you call an apple, an orange, and a pear in a bowl? Fruit

How many Azheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

What do you call a Muslim on a plane? A passenger, you racist bastard.

Keira Knightley walked in to a coffee shop. The man behind the counter said "Wow, you're Keira Knightley!". Keira replied, "No, actually I am just one of your many masturbatory fantasies. You are currently staring at an old lady that just asked you for a latte". "Oh, by the way. You are drooling and have an erection."

Why did Michael Phelps drown? He didn't because he is the best swimmer in olympic history.

Why did the 80 year old man lose his vision? Because he recently blew his head off.

hey fat ass u want some butter with them rolls?

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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