How do you tell when your dog is dead? I don't know. I never had a dog and my parents beat me.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the squirrel.

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Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

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Why did the black guy cross the road? His car was parked across the street.

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youre in a room with justin bieber and a gun with 5 bullets..........

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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How do you make a boy cry? Pour hot soup on his head.

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A muslim, a jew, and a black man jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? They all hit the ground at the same time because gravity pulls all objects at the same rate regardless of their mass.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? The horse fell in the mud

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue I Have ADD ...

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How do you become a superhero? Eat 10 buckets of KFC.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.. Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first moneky.. Why did the 3rd monkey fall out of the tree? It thought it was a game.. Why did the 4th monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? We can never be truly sure of the chicken's real purpose, but given the circumstances of the surroundings, the story has it that the purpose of the chicken was to physically move to the other side of said road.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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your friend is gay, but you are not. nothing happens

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Why did the referee go to the zoo? He likes animals

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So I picked my nose while peeing, and it fell in the toilet so I didn't have to wipe it on anything. This is more of a story I wanted to share than a joke

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How am I supposed to eat soup without an envelope?

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Q) What did one chicken say to the other? A) Nothing. Chickens can't talk.

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a glass of water. A few seconds later he drinks the water.

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A man walks into a bar... has a beer then leaves to his beautiful wife and his 2 children

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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