I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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What do you call a skeleton in your closet? Evidence of a brutal crime. You should probably call the cops.

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Gay rights.

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If Hellen Keller could meet Obama, what would she say? Nothing.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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How did Darth Vader know what Luke Skywalker got for Christmas? He's his dad. He bought the presents.

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What do you get when you cross Dracula and a snowman. Probably a little startled from the man's Dracula costume and a little chilly because the weather is cold enough to support a snowman.

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Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

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What's red, crunchy, and hard to chew. A brick.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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What did the baseball coach say to his son? Nothing. He was dead.

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How do you keep an elephant from charging? Ask nicely.

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Q: Why did the child fall? A: Because I shot him in the leg.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender asks him to leave.

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you haven't already said twice.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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An asian is doing math hw then his dad drives through the door

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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''Today is Star Wars day :)'' ''Why's that?'' ''guess'' ''I don't know :/'' ''It's May the 4th!'' ''And?'' ''May the 4th be with you :p''

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the sky is green no it is not

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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